This week, Jon Harper had me on his podcast through BAM Education, My Bad. You can view Jon’s podcast website here. My podcast with Jon will be uploaded soon.
During the podcast, we discussed the power self-doubt has to creep in and make us feel “less than” as educators. As Jon said to me after the podcast, “We go home as educators, and remember the one mistake we made that day and let that sink in. But, we forget everything else we did right.” He is so correct.
Beginning from the time when we were all preservice educators, we were told to “reflect, reflect, reflect.”
Teaching educators the importance of reflection is incredibly valid for obvious reasons. If we do not think about what we are doing- Before, during, and after instruction- How will we grow? But, the truth is many educators, myself included, let that reflection turn into 24/7 white noise in our heads that often resembles self-doubt. Thoughts like. . .
Am I making the right decision?
Will I be able to make a meaningful influence?
What if I become successful? (Sometimes thinking of becoming successful is just as scary as the thought of failure)
As educators, we are constantly making decisions that affect our students, our colleagues and ourselves. There is the consistent pressure that we put on ourselves to perform at a certain level at all times. People are depending on us and we want to use our platform for good. Yet, even when we are making the right decisions, even when we see that we are making a positive difference, we still always wonder what we could do better.
It is complex because, at one end, this level of cognition does give you the power to evolve in your practice. But, on the realistic end, the revolving level of thoughts and reservation can hinder you from being present in your life and enjoying “what does go right,” as Jon put it.
For years, I hid these feelings of doubt. Due to my outgoing personality and perceived confidence that others have of me, I was able to conceal it well. But, I felt I was not being authentic to myself. Hence, I decided to feel the feelings as an educator while being vulnerable about it with others. What I found is that self-doubt happens to all educators. The more and more I talked to other people about it, the more I learned I was not on an island. Through having a connection of honest educators, I have found that we can’t bury our feelings of doubt, but we can learn to reduce its noise. Once we reduce the noise, we can hear more of our light come front in center- Our passions, our happiness, our strengths, and more.
Self-doubt happens to all educators. We can't bury the feeling, but we can reduce its noise. Click To TweetWhen I am experiencing uncertainty, even in moments of joy:
- I remind myself of why I do what I do
- I take time to celebrate the good I contribute to the world
- I give myself the space to think about something else
- I talk to other educators who can be my accountability partners for reassurance and love
Note: I am not perfect at this, but I am growing in it, and so can you.
Remember: You are human. You are not alone. Being an educator does not make us immune to self-doubt. We will face self-doubt. And when we do, remember that our students are often experiencing similar feelings of fear, doubt, and uneasiness. All-in-all, do not be scared of the doubt. Instead, learn to start doubting those doubts more than you doubt yourself.
Learn to start doubting those doubts more than you doubt yourself. Click To Tweet